That's How The Peanut Butter Cookie Crumbles
by SaoirseParisa
Summary: "She slipped this in my bag before I left for Garrison. I don't know how to cook yet, but...I think...she wanted me to carry a piece of her with me…" Pidge tries to cope with her craving for her favorite food and being away from her family, and not just the people who are missing.


**A/N:** So...I started watching Voltron: Legendary Defender...and I love it! The ironic thing? I'm someone who normally detests giant robot shows, usually because they're too complicated or boring for me! Also, Pidge/Katie is the most awesome and adorable girl in all of the cartoon world. I just HAD to write this out! I hope you guys enjoy it! I'll admit, this is my first sci-fi fan fic, and I'm not familiar with most giant robot shows, or even the original Voltron, so if I accidentally make the characters OOC or make some mistakes, please feel free to point them out, and I'll rectify them as best I can!

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 _That's How The Peanut Butter Cookie Crumbles_

If there was one thing Katie Holt-Pidge Gundarsson-missed most about her home on Earth, it was eating her mother's freshly baked peanut butter cookies. They were her most favorite food ever, and now that she had spent a good majority of time on a strange alien planet-Arus-she missed them even more. Whenever she was good and did what she was told, her mother would always bake some. Not so often that she would get tired of them, but just as a little treat. Pidge would watch as her mother would knead the dough, use the wooden spoon to stir everything into a big, soupy pool of yellowish brown, snow-like mush, separate them into balls, and put the cooking sheet into the oven.

The sweet, bread-like scent of dough would fill the air as her mother would open the oven with her hand covered with a big black oven mitten. There they would come out, shaped in perfect circles, with little protrusions on top that would resemble the goosebumps that would pepper her arms. Pidge would grab at least three or four, and her mother would flash her signature warm smile, while secretly warning her to not eat them all within a short amount of time, and to leave some for her father and brother. But why leave some when her father and brother didn't even like them much?

From then on, however, neither her father nor her brother would eat those cookies, or even be able to return home from their Kerberos mission. Katie froze as she came almost halfway down the steps, watching with a hand over her mouth as the TV in their living room displayed the news channel. Flickering over the screen were pictures of her father, Sam Holt, her brother, Matt Holt, and one of a man she didn't know or recognize. The newscaster said with furrowed eyebrows that the Kerberos mission was a failure. Their spaceship crashed.

"This is a sad day for humanity," The newscaster looked down at his hands as he said those dreadful words.

At first, neither she nor her mother could believe it. Her father and brother, gone? Just like that? The mission was a failure? How could that be? There were just so many questions and no answers. Answers that nobody was going to just hand them on a silver platter. All Katie could do was hug her mother for a brief moment. She knew this comforting gesture wouldn't help much, but seeing her mother cry wounded her heart.

That night, before returning to bed, restlessness and a desire for answers seized her. She lay in bed, wondering what happened. The mission couldn't have failed just like that, did it? And why didn't the newscaster confirm whether her father and brother were dead or alive? They were simply classified as missing, nothing more. Finally, it came to her. If nobody else would give her the answers she needed, she'd go and get them herself. No way was she going to just sit here, wait, and worry herself sick. She was sure her mother wouldn't approve, but at this point, what did it matter?

She wasn't going to lose them. Her father's hearty laughs, the way his face would light up when he talked about his job, the heavy, filling meals he would cook when giving his wife a break every once in a while, her brother teaching her how to hack into machines just in case she needed to, their games of tag and pretend sword fights, his large glasses looking over her homework when she needed help, the times they went to the park together as a family, all four of them, watching ducks swim in the rivers, ordering peanut butter cookies at the food stands...No. She couldn't bear to go another day without knowing what happened to them. The recently present combination of overwhelming grief and anger felt like a vicious, wounded animal living inside her, clawing at her heart and refusing to die.

It was so raw, so big, all-consuming, even. The only way she knew to get rid of it was to find them.

"I'll find you, Dad...Matt...I won't give up…"

On the day she left for the academy, having donned her new clothes and adjusting to her newly cut hair, she had rummaged through her rucksack one day to find a folded piece of paper she didn't recognize. She pulled it out, opening it to find that it was...a recipe. A recipe? Pidge raised an eyebrow in confusion. What was a recipe doing in her bag? Last she checked, she wasn't much of a cook. Then she looked closer.

It was a recipe for peanut butter cookies.

 _One cup of unsalted butter_

 _One cup of peanut butter_

 _One cup of white sugar_

 _One cup of packed brown sugar_

 _Two eggs_

 _Two and a half cups of flour_

 _One teaspoon of baking powder_

 _A half teaspoon of salt_

 _A half teaspoon of baking soda_

 _Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line baking sheets with parchment paper._

 _Stir all of the above in a large bowl until combined._

 _Drop spoonfuls of dough onto the prepared baking sheet, each one inch apart. Flatten gently._

 _Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 6 to 8 minutes. Do not overbake!_

Katie knew her mother's beautiful handwriting anywhere. Perfect, curling letters written in bold black ink pen, with everything capitalized. Her eyes scanned the list to the bottom, noticing something else. This time, it wasn't an ingredient.

 _Katie,_

 _I won't stop you from finding your father and Matt. In fact, go for it. I know you'll do great. I'll always worry about you, as that's what mothers do. Please be careful, and don't cause trouble. I already lost my husband and son. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. Know that I love you very much. Wherever you are, I'll always think of you and pray for your good health and safety._

 _Your mother._

 _P.S. I don't know if the academy lets students cook or not, but if you ever take a culinary class and learn, I thought you'd like the recipe to your favorite cookies. If possible, you can bake some yourself and eat them. Think of me, your father, and brother in doing so._

That was months ago. Now here she was, on a foreign planet called Arus, sitting in front of the castle of Altea, watching the sky above her drape the planet with a vivid splash of colors-a luminous ocean of vermillion orange and golden yellow, with the blue skies of night sneaking right in, attempting to push the dying day away. The sun had just set, so her eyes, obscured by her glasses, would not be permanently burned by the shining star's effulgence. Four mice, three small ones and a large, rotund one, sat right next to her, also enjoying the beautiful scenery.

All it took was for her to look down in order to notice they were there. "Hey there, little guys. How you doing?" With a smile, she stroke the pink mouse with one finger, basking in the softness of its fur. The little mouse squeaked happily as its ear was moved in all directions.

Pidge found herself frowning. Ever since she had come to Arus, all she and the other Voltron Paladins ate were piles of green goop that almost looked radioactive if she didn't know better, and some weird popsicle things. No Earth food at all. She understood why, as Alteans didn't eat Earth food. Still, her heart ached, yearning for those delicious peanut butter cookies. No more smelling that sweet aroma of cookie dough filling the kitchen. No more making sure her mother didn't add those dry peanuts to them.

"Pidge?" A voice called out to her with concern. She turned around. Standing behind her was Shiro. Yes, the other man who was captured by Zarkon, along with her father and brother. He had escaped thanks to the Voltron Paladins, Pidge being one of them. He sat down next to her, his large body contrasting with his soft, gentle facial features, especially his sympathetic expression. He almost looked like a giant to her, towering over her like a skyscraper. But she didn't mind. Her body relaxed the moment he sat next to her. The white tuft of hair on his head stood out from the rest of his dark colored clothes, dark hair, and tan skin.

"Hi, Shiro," A smile, although forced, appeared. Having him there was like having her father and Matt back with her. It wasn't the real thing, but...he knew them. He respected them. It was better than nothing.

But Shiro knew her enough to see the wistful look on her face. It was unmistakable. "...You miss them, don't you?"

The smile faded just as quickly as it came, morphing into a frown. Of course he knew. After all, he did find out her secret, and figured out who she was long beforehand. Plus, he was older than she. Wiser, stronger, more...worldly. If he was some kind of robot, he would be the kind that had been used and functional for many years, possibly decades, complete with nicks and dents on the surfaces, but still functioning just fine.

"I was...thinking about my mom," She began softly. "When Allura found out my...real gender, she kept asking about it. Not directly, but I dodged the subject by telling her about my favorite food and...my worst qualities," The memory flashed right through her mind, and it was enough to make a chuckle come out. She had to admit, it was funny to see Allura try to squeeze the information out of her just to confirm what the mice told her.

Shiro chuckled softly. "She really put you on the spot, didn't she?"

"Sorta. But...it got me to remembering all those times my mom would make peanut butter cookies for me," She held out the worn piece of paper before him, covered with permanent creases from having been folded so many times. "She slipped this in my bag before I left for Garrison. I don't know how to cook yet, but…" Gradually, her voice trembled. "...I think...she wanted me to carry a piece of her with me…"

Taking in a deep breath, her attempts to stop the first flow of tears were futile. Shiro's eyebrows furrowed with sympathy as he saw the girl's brave face break down. His fatherly instincts kicked in, and on impulse, he wrapped his good arm around her, pulling her close, her bespectacled face buried in his armored chest.

"You miss your family. I know. It's okay," Shiro whispered.

"Do you…" She began, still sobbing softly. "...Do you miss your family? Your mom, dad, or siblings?"

Shiro's expression didn't change, but his brows furrowed even more. All he could see in his mind were black and white silhouettes without much of a shape to them. But that was enough to make him squeeze his eyes shut. How could he not remember his own family? Overwhelming waves of guilt washed over him, and in no way could he articulate how guilty and horribly ungrateful he felt. His family might have done so much for him, just like Sam and Matt did for Katie, and he didn't even remember it.

Curse Zarkon. Curse the Galra Empire...for what they did to him and Pidge's family.

"I...I don't remember them," Shiro replied softly, figuring it was best to acknowledge the truth. "That sounds horrible, doesn't it? But...wherever they are, I wish I could tell them that I'm alive and well. I bet Sam and Matt want to do the same with you, and you with your mom."

Pidge took a deep breath again, her sobs tapering off some. "I miss Earth. I miss my mom. I miss the cookies she'd make me. I miss...everything."

A large hand stroke Pidge's back, giving her a comforting reassurance. Shiro knew this wouldn't bring Sam and Matt here, but seeing Pidge sad was like seeing a sad puppy. But she could become a brave, strong wolf when she needed to be. There weren't always times when Pidge could afford to be vulnerable. Now was one of those times, and Shiro knew it. That was okay with him. After all, everyone deserved to have a good cry once in a while. This would be good for Pidge.

"We'll stop Zarkon and defeat the Galra Empire," Shiro told her kindly. "And you'll see your dad and big bro again. I swear it. Then you'll get to eat all the peanut butter cookies you want with them."

That was enough to make Pidge chuckle. "Man, when did you get so cheesy?" All Shiro could do was giggle ruefully in response. Still, they both had to believe in something. She was still happy that he was here. It was like having a piece of her family with her. He was nice. Kind. Strong. But still willing to put himself at her level and give her the encouragement she needed. For her, that was all she needed for now.

Pidge pulled the recipe out again. "Still, I do kinda wish I could make these myself."

"I'd help you out, but last I checked, Alteans don't exactly have Earth ingredients or ovens."

"You got that right."

It's a shame their bonding moment suddenly got cut short by splattering noises and high pitched yelling. Pidge's glasses fell just past her nose. Shiro grimaced, turning around to look back at the castle entrance. Teenaged boys younger than he were covered in a strange, amorphous green substance, chasing each other around.

"Come on, guys! Stop it! I'm still traumatized from the last time I was attacked by flying green goo!"

"Haha! What's wrong, Keith?! Are you scared of my awesome food fighting abilities?!"

"Shut up and quit it already!"

Pidge covered her mouth with both hands in a futile attempt to hold back laughter. The last time there was a food fight in the Castle of Lions, they, along with the three teenagers, were all subject to having green goo staining their outfits. Shiro simply laughed before standing up.

"Well, looks like we better stop the castle from becoming covered in goo. What do you say?" Shiro held a hand out, smiling warmly.

The mice scattered. Pidge smiled back and took his hand as they walked back into the castle. "Thanks. I hope Princess Allura hasn't become a green goo monster."

Once again, Shiro couldn't hold back laughter. He nor Pidge. But having a good laugh was just as good as having a good cry. Pidge still found herself thinking about Shiro's words. Maybe, just maybe, God willing, should she find her family and go back home, she could try making her favorite peanut butter cookies all by herself. They might not be as good as her mother's, but one could dream, right?

Next time, she would share them with not just her father and brother, but with the rest of the Paladins of Voltron.


End file.
